As small children, we have to stay connected to our carers to stay alive. Without them, we die. It’s simple. This is why they say ‘we are wired for connection’, we are.
When we grow up with caregivers who are not attuned to our needs, who are maybe neglectful, dismissive, narcissistic, or in active addiction, we need to survive. We need to get our basic needs to be fed and sheltered met. If they are not met, we really might die.
This is why, as adults, it can feel like we might die if our partner leaves us. You might know logically that this feeling doesn’t make sense, but trauma is held in the body. The body remembers the trauma of not getting our needs met. The bodies response is not always logical.
- You might find yourself acting out like a child – that would be your child trying to stay connected.
- You might find yourself people-pleasing – that would be your child trying to stay connected.
- You might find yourself abandoning yourself – – that would be your child trying to stay connected.
- You might find yourself being ‘clingy’ – that would be your child trying to stay connected.
- You might find yourself feeling insecure – that would be your child trying to stay connected.
- You might find yourself shrinking – that would be your child trying to stay connected.
If this resonates with you, you might find that you have some attachment wounding. Know that you CAN work with attachment wounding. I teach you HOW in the Relationship Cycle Breakers course that starts next week. It is a six-week deep dive into healing unhelpful relationship patterns. To find out more and get your Early Bird Discount, click here
If attachment anxiety resonates with you, let me know in the comments.
