The inner child needs to be validated. They need to have THEIR version of reality validated by you.
If your inner child has been told for years that she is ‘too sensitive’ to all the fighting that went on in the house. That there is nothing wrong with the family, there is something wrong with her. There is a strange sense of not being given permission to grieve for the situation and
all the pain, because the problem is with her and not the family unit.
When you listen to HER version, validate all of the pain, the fighting, the drama and the abuse, it is an unbelievable relief.
Finally, someone is hearing her. She doesn’t have to prove how painful it was anymore. You remember it all too. She was not alone in it, you witnessed it all too, it did happen, and it has caused lasting inner scars.
This is not about demonising your parents. It is about recognising their limitations. They could only do what they had been taught, from their own wounds. So many parents are wounded children in adult’s bodies.
Does this resonate?
