We all make mistakes. The magic is in the repair. Sometimes it is hard to find the words to start. I hope you find these helpful. Love to all, Jen
Tag: Repair
How SHAME Can Stop People Apologising:
Everyone has a different relationship with shame, depending mainly on how they were raised. Shame says, “I’m a terrible person”, and guilt says, “I did a terrible thing.” When you have DONE something wrong, you can repair it. When you …
4 Step Apology
This might sound like: “I’m sorry I didn’t call to let you know I would be late for the show. That was thoughtless of me. Next time I’ll be sure to let you know. Can you forgive me?” Remember, when …
Apologising
Please note that this doesn’t say, “I must apologise all the time to keep the peace.” Owning our part is powerful. Even if we only own a tiny part. Think back to the last time someone owned their part of …
What To Say If You Made A Mistake Or Regret How You Behaved.
We all mess up from time to time. Remember, it is not the conflict that defines a relationship. The magic is in the repair. How well do you repair? When we have made a mistake, we have usually done something …
11 Signs you are Growing Apart
Relationships take work. They need to be fed and nurtured in order to remain satisfying for both parties. Often the process of drifting apart is gradual. When we find ourselves growing apart, we need to decide if we are going …
How to Reconnect After an Argument
We all know that uncomfortable few minutes after a heated discussion. The argument’s energy is hanging in the air, and you are both processing what was said. If your trauma response has been activated, you might be calming your nervous …
How to Escape the Toxic Criticism and Defensiveness Cycle
When someone comes at you with criticism, the natural response is to defend. Criticism is a form of attack, so it is natural to protect instinctively unless you know how criticism and defensiveness play out in a relationship. Those of …
The Five Stages of Relationship
Reminder: it is NORMAL to have conflict in a relationship. Excellent relationship researchers, the Gottman’s, discovered that it was not the number of disputes that determined if a relationship was robust or not, but how the couple resolved the conflict. …