As the listener, you must first notice the part of you formulating your response. This part is likely to be a protector in your system. This part is probably trying to protect you in some way. It might be protecting …
Tag: Relationships
Before You Apologise Do This…
Before apologising, ask the other person to share the IMPACT it has had on them. Life changing. Love, Jen (Inspired by a lecture given at IFS Level 1 training by Emma Diamond – Australia)
How Was Repair Done In Your Family?
Rupture and repair were not done well in my family. When I look at my grandparents, it’s easy to see why. We tend to repeat what we learn. As an adult, I had to learn to have difficult conversations and …
6 Signs You Might Need Couple Therapy
If any of these sound familiar, couple therapy might be the next step to rebuilding or strengthening your bond. Don’t wait for a crisis—reaching out for help is a sign of strength! P.s. If you would like to do some …
To Be Let In
Being let into someone’s internal world allows them to trust you with their more vulnerable parts. When you can share your internal world with one another, you feel more connected and have a sense of being known, understood, and accepted …
Help…We Both Have Traumatic Childhoods!
Coming from a CPTSD background does not mean your relationship is doomed. I would highly recommend working with a therapist to support you as you move into deeper intimacy and help you structure secure attachment bonds. A wonderful modality to …
Intimacy = Vulnerability
Sometimes, there is a good reason for this. Perhaps there have been some key events where you have felt unsupported by your partner or hurt by them. Perhaps your partner is sometimes an unsafe person. We can only move into …
How Might My Past Trauma Show Up In My Current Relationship?
We all enter a new relationship with baggage. When we grow up without a model of a healthy relationship or attachment, we are kind of building from scratch. The first step is to notice the unhealthy behaviours. The second step—and …
Trauma Couples
Not all relationships can work, even with the best of intentions. But coming from a CPTSD background does not mean your relationship is doomed. I would highly recommend working with a therapist to support you as you move into deeper …
Getting Upset
Here are those phrases again: “Tell me more about how that made you feel,” “It makes sense that you would feel that way,” and “It sounds really difficult for you. Know that I’m here to support you.” Let me know …