As a couple therapist, I see people repeatedly move through all of these stages. If you do this well, you build an increasingly solid foundation for your relationship. Sometimes, however, we get stuck in the struggle and repair phase, especially …
Tag: Healing
10,000 Hours
I did a back-of-the-envelope calculation to work out how many hours of trauma therapy I had done in my career. The answer is about 15,600 hours. The interesting thing is that I am not burnt out. I LOVE what I …
Anger and Grief
As a trauma therapist, I have sat with clients for about 15,600 hours and held anger (back of a napkin calculation).I have sat with myself and held my anger.Anger is often protective – when we talk to anger, it will …
Spiritual Life
If you like the research – check out this paper: Neuroanatomical Correlates of Religiosity and Spirituality
What Do You Choose?
I had to study a foreign language at school as a GCSE in the British education system until I was 16. I studied German because I missed a year of French when I moved schools and was too far behind. …
How Do You Know When To Let Go of a Relationship?
Have you ever experienced the confusion and struggle of not knowing whether you should stay or leave a relationship? The part that wants to stay might see the good in your partner or be afraid of being alone or scared …
Apology Accepted. Access Denied.
It’s okay to accept an apology. We all make mistakes. It’s also okay to have a new boundary that keeps you safe.
3 Fears of the Anxiously Attached
All of these fears come from somewhere. Fear of abandonment: When do you remember people not being there for you the way you needed them to be? Fear of not being good enough: Where did you learn that your needs …
3 Fears of the Anxiously Attached
Remember that anxious attachment is a strategy you have learnt to maintain closeness with your special person. These fears can all be addressed by building internal and external secure attachment.
Common Mistakes when Anxiously Attached
Many individuals with anxious attachment mistakenly equate the rollercoaster of intense emotional highs and lows with the depth and intensity of love, perceiving these turbulent experiences as signs of a passionate relationship. This confusion can lead to a blurred line …