If you were labeled the black sheep in your family, know this is only one potential dynamic that might have been playing out in your family. Every family is unique, with unique dynamics. Being the black sheep can be a …
Tag: healing journey
The Effects of Drawing Children into Adult Conflicts
One of the most common examples of this is during a divorce. Both parents are vying for the emotional support of the children. They are consciously manipulating the children to align with them. This might take the form of comments …
Statements of Self-Validation
HERE IS A QUICK ‘GO TO’ TILE FOR VALIDATING STATEMENTS. Keep these on your screen saver, print them, and put them next to your bed, where you brush your teeth. While we are changing our inner landscape, it takes a …
Tips for Self-Validation
Self-validation CAN be learnt. It is so important because validating ourselves re-connects us with our inner knowing and intuition. Self-validation is particularly important when growing up in an environment with mixed messages, where the adults around us have denied our …
The Emotionally Attuned Parent
It is so easy to be dismissive when we are parenting. We are too busy and distracted to stop and listen to what is needed. When we don’t attend to children, they learn they are not important, their feelings and …
Journalling for Parentified Children
I have found journaling to be an invaluable part of my healing journey. It is time just for me to contemplate my life, think about relationships, and have space to allow my intuition, different perspectives and ideas to come through. …
Why You Find Caregiving Exhausting as a Parentified Child
As a parentified child, one of the ways you received love and acceptance was through caring for your siblings and/or parents. This may have been expressed as a compulsion as an adult, which may have contributed to moving naturally into …
Healing for Those Who Were Parentified
Once you have connected with your inner child, the next thing to do is validate their feelings about their childhood experiences. This process can be painful and might be best done with a therapist. Over time, your inner child needs …
When We Have Emotionally Immature Parents
Let’s start with emotionally immature parents. Your parents were emotionally immature because THEIR parents were emotionally immature. Emotional maturity is passed through family lines. If we are raised by people who know how to have healthy boundaries, self-regulate, have functional, …
What is Complex PTSD?
Complex trauma refers to a child’s continued exposure to traumatic events, which are often interpersonal and intrusive. This could be physical abuse, neglect, or attachment issues with the primary caregiver. When a child is abused or neglected, attachment issues occur. …