“It’s safer to pull back.” But: This isn’t the whole truth. It’s a protective part, trying to shield you from the potential hurt. Real healing happens when you get curious about this part, meet it with compassion, and show it …
Tag: healing journey
We Choose Avoidant Partners: An Internal Family Systems Perspective
‘Many of you may feel stuck in a painful cycle—repeatedly choosing avoidant or emotionally distant partners despite craving closeness. You might wonder why you always feel unseen, unheard, or unimportant in relationships. When you feel this way, it is common …
Why You Apologize Even When It’s Not Your Fault
Check out Episode 39 of the Psychotherapy Central Podcast: Understanding and Healing Protest Behaviors Through an IFS Lens. Listen here: Enjoy, and let me know what you think in the comments. Love, Jen
Overly Sensitive And Anxiously Attached
If you grew up in an emotionally unstable environment, you likely became hyper-aware of small shifts—watching for any sign that might trigger a reaction. You learned to do things perfectly to avoid being yelled at or punished, picking up on …
Protest Behaviours and IFS
When you learn to work with your parts instead of against them, you stop reacting out of fear and start responding from your calm, confident Self. Healing takes time, but every moment of self-awareness moves you forward. To hear more …
Arielle Schwartz Quote
I love this quote. I love it because so many of you from complex trauma backgrounds feel broken.This makes sense because, as a child, you think that what happens to you is because of you. That you must somehow be …
Being in the Discomfort of a Conflict is Incredibly Difficult for the Anxiously Attached.
When a conflict occurs, most people with an anxious attachment style try to repair the conflict as quickly as possible to regain closeness. The problem is that it can be difficult to maintain boundaries when you let things slide to …
Apology in the Family
“As a therapist, I’ve noticed that people who grew up in families where no one apologized after disagreements and just let time pass often carry that experience into adulthood in unexpected ways. When conflict is ignored instead of addressed, it …