Have you had a big traumatic thing happen, and you seem to move through it well, and then something small happens, and it seems to get stuck? A few things could be going on: Has anyone else had this experience? …
Tag: healing journey
What’s Not Co-Regulation
Understanding what co-regulation IS and ISN’T can transform your relationships! It’s not about mirroring someone’s panic or distress—it’s about maintaining calm and helping others find their way back to a place of peace. In Chapter 6 of my book ‘Heal …
Tips for Co-Regulation
Experiencing this kind of love in a relationship is deeply healing. It has the power to change an insecure attachment style to a secure one. Over time, you will learn to self-regulate and fill in the developmental gap you missed. …
Why Co-Regulation is Important
When a nervous system with little co-regulation starts to receive co-regulation as an adult, it will learn to regulate itself. This is where we reach the limits of individual personal development work. At this stage, we need to be in …
The Benefit of Verbalising Emotions
A UCLA study by Dr. Matthew D. Lieberman revealed that verbalising emotions like sadness, anger, and pain can reduce their intensity. When people experience fear or anger, the amygdala—an area of the brain—becomes more active. However, brain activity shifts from …
Emotional Awareness In Relationships
Is this easy? Hell no, as Brené would say. It goes against our wiring, especially if we have a trauma history; the impulse to get away can be overpowering. The power is in the pause. When we can pause and …
What to Avoid in an Argument
When we build up resentments in a relationship it is common that they will come pouring out in the midst of an argument. You start with a complaint about how they leave their clothes on the floor, they become defensive, …
Rituals for Building Connection
When you are an early bird in a relationship with a night owl, you potentially miss out on many opportunities for connection. You might find less time to talk, less intimacy, less touch, and at worst, you live like friends …
Growing Trust in Your Relationships
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It is difficult to be truly vulnerable with someone you don’t trust. Trust isn’t built overnight; it takes time. In a relationship, many small moments become the building blocks of trust. It might …
Turning Criticism into a Complaint
If you grew up with a lot of criticism around you, you likely have a loud, critical voice in your head as an adult. Usually, that critical voice is directed inward, but in intimate relations Criticism usually grows out of …