When you don’t feel safe, the usual thing to do is to adapt your behaviour to create the most safety possible. This is when we people-please and shape-shift for approval or to keep the peace. When this happens, the need …
Tag: healing journey
A Conscious Relationship
This is how a relationship can become conscious; through love, support, understanding, compassion, communication and trust.
Creating Distance in a Relationship Can be a Form of Self-Care
Let me know in the comments which ones worked for you; 1,2,3,4, or 5 – or if something different worked for you Love, Jen
Safe Enough
For me, right now, it is the presence of my husband on his laptop. It is the felt sense of my house all around me. It is the pillows supporting my back. What allows you to feel ‘safe enough’ right …
Attachment Styles and Relational Distance
Attachment styles exist on a spectrum. You can be more or less anxious or more or less avoidant in your attachment style. About 80% of distressed couples who go to couple therapy are in the anxious/avoidant dynamic. Have you ever …
Suicidal Thoughts Through an IFS Lens
1 in 6 people have serious suicidal thoughts in Australia, with the “lifetime prevalence of suicidal thoughts ranging from 64% among cisgender men to 90% among non-binary participants and 91% among trans men.” (AIHW, 2023). Suicidal thoughts often cause a …
Anxious Attachment and People Pleasing
If attachment anxiety resonates with you, let me know in the comments. When attachment anxiety takes hold, the instinct to people please and prioritize the needs of others over your own can take over. This behavior is understandable because of …
Recording for my Book, Heal Your Anxious Attachment
A day in the studio recording 20 pages of practices for my upcoming book “Heal Your Anxious Attachment”, landing 1st Feb 2024. When I record the practices, I do them at the same time. It helps to anchor the energy …
Anxious Adaptation
When you find yourself in the middle of a protest behaviour, acting out, but desperately trying to form some kind of connection, know that your behaviour makes sense when put in context. There are younger parts of you that are …
The Mono Mind
Do you resonate with this idea of multiplicity? Leave a comment if you do. If you are interested in learning more about Internal Family Systems (IFS), check out my podcast – Psychotherapy Central – Episodes 5-13 are all about IFS. …