When a part of you is searching for redemption, you end up in toxic relationships that remind you of your past. Let’s imagine your dad was distant. Maybe he was always at work, a bit distant, and you got the feeling that he didn’t really love you. Maybe he takes care of you financially, but there isn’t much warmth or connection. To prove that you are loveable, to get redemption, that part of you needs your dad to love you.
When you grow up, this younger part of you is drawn to unavailable partners because there sits your chance for redemption. If you can make him love you, notice you, and want you, then you are redeemed and loveable. And that younger part of you can rest, safe knowing you are loved. If that doesn’t happen, you end up chasing the love and connection, feeling the same pain you felt in your childhood.
This is how we end up in repeating cycles of pain in adulthood.
P.s. If you are interested in ‘parts work’ or ‘inner child work’, you might like to check out my ‘Meet your Inner Child’ short self-paced course.