Who are the CYCLE BREAKERS out there? Generational patterns repeat throughout a family because people tend to parent how they were parented. Being the ‘cycle breaker’ in a family is not an easy role, and it is often not chosen …
Tag: Cycle breaker
Consequences of Unmet Childhood Needs
Our core childhood needs are: Attachment Freedom to be yourself and to have your emotions and needs validated Appropriate limits so you learn self-control Independence, competence and self-identity Play When triggered by one of these needs not being met, you …
Therapy Can Be Painful
Hard truth – therapy is often uncomfortable. It is also empowering. It is empowering to see ourselves reflected back to us with compassion we may not be able to hold for ourselves. It is empowering to get another perspective on …
Stigma Surrounding Therapy
What words of encouragement would you offer someone thinking of going to therapy and getting some help?
Healing as a Scapegoat
Healing is best done with a therapist because a therapist will be able to help you unpack what happened at home and gently start to step into a new perspective. You are likely to have a lot of questions about …
Black Sheep: The Scapegoat
With the presence of a designated scapegoat, there may be a lot of hidden dysfunction. It can be much easier to hide an abusive marriage with the presence of a child who has problems and is constantly misbehaving, etc. No …
The Effects of Drawing Children into Adult Conflicts
One of the most common examples of this is during a divorce. Both parents are vying for the emotional support of the children. They are consciously manipulating the children to align with them. This might take the form of comments …
Tips for Self-Validation
Self-validation CAN be learnt. It is so important because validating ourselves re-connects us with our inner knowing and intuition. Self-validation is particularly important when growing up in an environment with mixed messages, where the adults around us have denied our …
Some Reasons a Child Becomes An Adult Too Soon.
As I mentioned in the last post, there are two types of parentification: 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 – Acting as a friend and confidant to a parent, becoming the peacemaker, emotionally supporting the family. I𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 – helping the family with physical …
When We Have Emotionally Immature Parents
Let’s start with emotionally immature parents. Your parents were emotionally immature because THEIR parents were emotionally immature. Emotional maturity is passed through family lines. If we are raised by people who know how to have healthy boundaries, self-regulate, have functional, …