With the presence of a designated scapegoat, there may be a lot of hidden dysfunction. It can be much easier to hide an abusive marriage with the presence of a child who has problems and is constantly misbehaving, etc. No …
Tag: Cycle breaker
The Effects of Drawing Children into Adult Conflicts
One of the most common examples of this is during a divorce. Both parents are vying for the emotional support of the children. They are consciously manipulating the children to align with them. This might take the form of comments …
Tips for Self-Validation
Self-validation CAN be learnt. It is so important because validating ourselves re-connects us with our inner knowing and intuition. Self-validation is particularly important when growing up in an environment with mixed messages, where the adults around us have denied our …
Some Reasons a Child Becomes An Adult Too Soon.
As I mentioned in the last post, there are two types of parentification: 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 – Acting as a friend and confidant to a parent, becoming the peacemaker, emotionally supporting the family. I𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 – helping the family with physical …
When We Have Emotionally Immature Parents
Let’s start with emotionally immature parents. Your parents were emotionally immature because THEIR parents were emotionally immature. Emotional maturity is passed through family lines. If we are raised by people who know how to have healthy boundaries, self-regulate, have functional, …
What is Complex PTSD?
Complex trauma refers to a child’s continued exposure to traumatic events, which are often interpersonal and intrusive. This could be physical abuse, neglect, or attachment issues with the primary caregiver. When a child is abused or neglected, attachment issues occur. …
A Personal Post for Father’s Day
Seven years ago, my father died at 91 years old. I had the opportunity to be with him for about four weeks before he passed. As he lay in his bed, getting weaker and weaker and having a dose of …
Reconnection to the Inner Child
Children are naturally creative. They have to be creative to survive in the world and learn about the world. They hear a new noise and want to find out what it is, see something new, and explore its taste, feel …
Fathers and Sons
After reading the last two posts, many people have asked, “What about the men?” How do men respond to the father wound? Of course, everyone’s response to any disconnection is different, so the core thing to remember is that there …