When someone comes at you with criticism, the natural response is to defend. Criticism is a form of attack, so it is natural to protect instinctively unless you know how criticism and defensiveness play out in a relationship. Those of …
Tag: Cycle breaker
Compassionate Reflection of 2022
At this time of the year, I like to do what I call a ‘Compassionate Review’, a kind examination of the year that has been. Know that each year is different. If this year has been especially hard, know that …
The 5 Stages of a relationship
Reminder: it is NORMAL to have conflict in a relationship. Excellent relationship researchers, the Gottman’s, discovered that it was not the number of disputes that determined if a relationship was robust or not, but how the couple resolved the conflict.Notice …
Understanding Outbursts
When we push our emotions down, they get stuck in the body. We have phases where we feel stable, and life goes on until something takes the lid off. It might be your child spilling paint on the carpet, it …
Interrupting Intergenerational Trauma
Reparenting helps you connect to the vulnerable part of yourself and learn to give it everything that was not received when you were a child. When we are parenting ourselves in a loving, supportive and safe way when we have …
Why Apologies Are Important
Saying sorry is important when it is done with sincerity and when real actions are taken to make amends and to right the wrong that was done. An apology can be a powerful gift for both the giver and the …
Why You Might Have Difficulties Setting Family Boundaries
Boundaries are an act of self-love and are part of healthy self-care. As we grow older, it is natural that we need different boundaries with our family to those that were suitable as a child. This means that even in …
Tips for Setting and Maintaining Boundaries
Boundaries are part of self-care. They are an expression of love and protection from ourselves, to ourselves. I find that the boundaries I struggle to maintain are the ones that for different reasons, other people don’t like. I find the …
The Importance of Discussing Family Issues
“In your dreams!” I hear many of you thinking as you read this tile, and for many of you, that is true. Having family discussions about important issues can be a disaster for everyone involved depending on the emotional maturity …
Family Discussion Barriers
At the first sign of disagreement, uncomfortable issues or emotions, does your family ‘shut down’? Shutting down is often done to protect the individuals and the family system and is often done because the members simply don’t have the skills …