The avoidant attachment style grows in children due to a caregiver (often the mother) who is emotionally unavailable and non-attuned to the child’s needs. Over time they suppress their natural desire to be comforted even when they are ill. These …
Tag: Cycle breaker
The Purpose of Self Criticism
The antidote to self-criticism is self-compassion. We can learn self-compassion. The outstanding researcher Dr Kristin Neff @neffselfcompassion has broken down self-compassion and has a suite of excellent tools to help increase our self-compassion quota. Compassion and Acceptance is also Module …
Healing Anxious Attachment
When your abandonment wound is triggered, it will take great courage and strength to change your automatic behaviour to go into fear and worst-case scenario, but it CAN be done, over time, with love and practice. You can learn to …
Foundation for Disorganised Attachment
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver (often the mother). They seem disoriented and confused. This is likely the result of erratic …
Dealing With Self-Criticism
I remember when I first heard about the concept of self-love. It was totally foreign. What did it mean to love yourself? I had only ever been taught that it was good to love others, to be kind to others. …
Foundation for Ambivalent (Anxious) Attachment
All attachment styles are the child’s response to the mother’s behaviour (or primary caregiver). The child’s brain is being wired in specific directions regarding intimate relationships, based on the primary relationship; with the mother. There can be a few reasons …
Environment for Secure Attachment
If you are in one of the insecurely attached groups, know that we can all learn to become more secure if we choose. It takes a lot of courage, but it can be done! Drop me a comment …
Validating Your Trauma
These three things will vary depending on the individual. We all start with a different nervous system. We are all in differing social-economic environments, surrounded by varying levels of support. We are all connected to our core or our spirit …
Implications of Childhood Trauma
Let’s expand the definition of trauma. Historically, we think of trauma as big events that caused stress and shock and impacted your old view of yourself and the world. This is big ‘T’ trauma. It has become more apparent that …
Trauma Can Be…
When we think about trauma, we usually think about big things; abuse, car accidents, death, etc. But trauma responses are activated by many other things. I have noticed in my practice that people who have not experienced events that we …