So, it starts off great. It is AMAZING to finally be in a relationship with someone who appreciates and respects you. He is attentive, he calls and texts regularly and doesn’t leave you guessing. He does and says things that …
Tag: attachment
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Corrective Experience (Part 8)
Is it SAFE to securely attach to my partner? This is the first question to consider when you have one of the three insecure attachment styles. Yesterday we talked about the corrective experience with a trained therapist. This is a …
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Part 4
Usually we are subconsciously looking to the world to affirm our deepest beliefs about ourselves. This happens in a part of our brain called the reticular activating system. This part of the brain will notice things that align with our …
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Part 3
DEVELOPING A COHERENT NARRATIVE ABOUT OUR LIFE. “Writing about important personal experiences in an emotional way for as little as 15 minutes over the course of three days brings about improvements in mental and psychical health” Pennebaker & Seagal, 1999. …
How to be with a Partner Who Has Disorganised Attachment
They have a deep need for consistency – being a safe person is essential Understanding their fear in relationship They will have emotional ups and downs – allow space for this WITH boundaries When in an argument they may dissociate …
Tools for Those with a Disorganised Attachment Style
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver (often the mother). This is the result of inconsistent behaviour from the parent, sometimes the …
How to Be with A Partner Who Is Avoidantly Attached
People with avoidant attachment ARE able to love and be in fulfilling relationships. They subconsciously use avoidance as a way to protect themselves. It is an adaptation that has developed from childhood as a response to a caregiver (often the …
Tools for those with an Avoidant Attachment Style
The avoidant attachment style grows in children as a response to a caregiver (often the mother) who is emotionally unavailable and non-attuned to the needs of the child. Over time they suppress their natural desire to be comforted even when …
How to be with a Partner who is Anxiously Attached
Some common scenarios that up when you are in relationship with an anxiously attached partner: You have a busy day at work and couldn’t return his call and have received 10 text messages which become more and more heated. Whatever …
Tools For Those With Anxious Attachment
It is very easy for anxiously attached people to judge themselves for their insecurity. Having grown up with a mother (or primary caregiver) who was not consistently available and attuned to their needs, these children learnt that they were not …