How do I ask for what I need? The most important part is KNOWING what you need. Often, we are not really clear about what our needs are. They get mixed up in the jumble of what we DON’T want. …
Tag: assertive communication
Protest Behaviours
Protest behaviours are ways of communicating. They have either been role modelled in your family of origin, or you have adapted them to stay safe in some way. For example, you might have witnessed your mother get angry about your …
Communicating Needs
BE HONEST – don’t hide your real needs for fear of being rejected, if you are rejected, this is a great indication you are not going to be happy in this relationship long term. If you are honest and accepted, …
Healing Old Communication Styles Where We Play Games, Push Our Partner Away And DON’T Get What We Want
Here are some situations, some old communication styles, that don’t work, and some new ways to communicate to help get your needs met. I hope you find them helpful! SITUATION – When you talk to them, they are not really …
Why do you Avoid Being Assertive?
There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are: ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) and ‘I have no idea how to do it’. Let’s take ‘The other person will be …
Boundaries with In-Laws
I have received many DMs about this, the struggle to merge two different families with differing expectations, norms, and values. The critical thing to remember with in-laws is to have a united front with your partner. This is where I …
Boundaries at Work
Like boundaries with family, boundaries at work can be incredibly tricky, especially if you have a boss pushing you to do more when you are already at capacity. With work, the ultimate threat is that you will be fired, which …
Unhealthy Boundaries with Parents Might Look Like:
As we grow older, it is natural that boundaries with our parents shift. As a 3-year-old, we will need someone to come with us to the bathroom, but not as a 12-year-old. As we move into the teenage years, it …
How to Respect Boundaries
In many intimate relationships, especially with friends and partners, we get used to them doing certain things and playing certain roles in our lives. When those people decide they need to stop doing those things or playing those roles, it …
Reasons You Might Be Struggling to Set Boundaries with Family
Boundaries are an act of self-love and are part of healthy self-care. As we grow older, it is natural that we need different boundaries with our family to those that were suitable as a child. This means that even in …