Everyone has a different relationship with shame, depending mainly on how they were raised.
Shame says, “I’m a terrible person”, and guilt says, “I did a terrible thing.” When you have DONE something wrong, you can repair it. When you ARE innately bad, how can you fix that? Do you see the subtle difference?
Shame is an insidious feeling and can impact all aspects of life. I often find that when people struggle to apologise, shame lurks underneath. A strong desire to hide and not be seen or to put up a strong front as though nothing and nobody can hurt you.
The danger is that shame can leave you isolated. If you are struggling with shame, I highly recommend seeing a therapist. As Brene Brown (a shame researcher) says, “Shame cannot survive being spoken. It cannot survive empathy”
Love, Jen
