The first time I remember feeling fear I was about 4 years old. I was being dragged up the stairs of our home as punishment for something I don’t remember.
I remember feeling numb. My whole body felt like it wanted to throw up. The panic and nausea was a full-bodied experience. I couldn’t connect the dots. I had no idea what I had done that could possibly deserve so much anger and violence being directed at me. I couldn’t comprehend how this person who was supposed to love me, was being so violent with me. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t being protected.
As an adult, when I feel fear now, I often feel this full-bodied nausea, especially if I think I might have done something wrong.
When I feel this, I turn towards my little girl. I turn towards my body and the fear. I get curious. I slow down.
“I’m here, I’m with you. I’m not going anywhere. You are so loved and protected. I’ve got you.”
For all of those feeling fear right now – sending love. Take a deep breath and breath it in.
All my love, Jen