All relationships need nurturing. I like to think of relationships like plants. If we leave a plant in sandy soil, give it too much sun and not enough water, it will quickly die. No two plants are the same. One plant will like the heat and the sandy soil, and another will be dead in a week. Relationships are the same, there are fundamental ingredients that all relationships need, but each relationship will need each element in different quantities to thrive.
Something that every healthy relationship needs is to feel one another’s love and appreciation. Sometimes, when I am working with clients, I might ask “When was the last time you praised your partner for something they did?” They say “oh, recently…let me think.” They become a little uncomfortable as they realise they can’t remember a specific example, and in fact, can’t remember the last time they said something in praise of their partner.
This happens when we focus on the parts of the relationship with them, we are struggling with. If they are always late home from work and it drives you crazy, it is easy to focus on that and not notice their efforts doing the washing, the contribution they make to the family finances, the time they spent on the weekend tidying the garden.
If there is one compliment, one thing you can do today, or even better, right now, to let your partner know how much they mean to you, what is it?
For me, it is giving my partner a big hug. He has just got home from work, and one of his love languages is touch. I know he’ll feel loved. What will you do? If you feel comfortable, let me know in the comments and let’s grow the love.
Love, Jen
