Many people wonder why on earth I chose to be a therapist. “Why would you want to sit all day and listen to people’s pain and suffering? Life is hard enough as it is!”
The funny thing is that listening to people’s pain and suffering IS transformative. It is not the same as listening to your friend or relative complain about their marriage or sore back for the fiftieth time. As a therapist, I have the opportunity to walk with my clients into their lives, to assess what is working and what is not working, to conduct experiments in their lives, and to see what might create the shifts they are looking for.
I feel incredibly privileged as a therapist to be given admission into my client’s inner worlds. I see this as a sacred and deeply personal place. I always feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude as I feel the next level of trust being bestowed upon me. This is part of the attachment repair work that happens when there is attunement from the therapist.
Fifty per cent of the population have an insecure attachment style. This results from a lack of safety and attunement from the primary carer when we were children. We learnt that we can’t trust the people caring for us to tend to our needs, to love and care for us. This impacts our future relationships, creating an expectation that our needs will not be met. We may become avoidant or anxious in our adult relationships.
Working with an attachment-informed therapist who is attuned to you can help repair attachment wounding. If your need for genuine care was never met by your primary carer, receiving this in the therapeutic relationship can be incredibly healing. Attachment wounds can be repaired; it just takes a bit of time and some focus.
Wherever you are right now, good luck on your healing journey.
Love, Jen
