When we don’t ‘show up’ in our most intimate relationships, we limit the depth of connection that can be achieved.
I think most of us want to ‘show up’, but we are held back.
We are held back by:
- fear of losing the other person and the relationship,
- the thought and feeling of being faced with our own shame/anxiety/panic etc.
- The idea of the other person’s reaction
- The fear of doing something we don’t usually do.
If we are not used to showing up authentically in relationships, it can be challenging to start suddenly. We need to be in a place where we can care deeply for ourselves and attend to ourselves whilst ‘showing up’ with the other person.
This is not something we learn overnight. This takes time.
- It takes time to learn how it feels to stay present to ourselves whilst we are accountable.
- It takes time to learn how to stay present to ourselves whilst having a difficult conversation.
- It takes time to learn how to stay present to ourselves whilst managing our shame – moving from “I am bad” to “I did a bad thing.”
- It takes time to learn how to stay present to ourselves and not over-focus on the other person.
- It takes time to learn how to stay present to ourselves whilst managing our nervous system responses.
- It takes time to learn how to stay present to ourselves whilst feeling present and grounded.
- It takes time to learn how to stay present to ourselves whilst being honest and vulnerable with the other person.
Healing is a journey. We are all healing and growing. Wherever you are is perfect.
Love always, Jen
