When Your Mother Uses You For Emotional Support

 As adults, we might find emotionally needy people repulsive and then criticise ourselves for feeling that repulsion.

This can show up as we parents appropriately needy children. There might be part of us that wants to run away from their emotional neediness and again judge ourselves. 

If this is you, know that this is a NORMAL response to an unhealthy childhood dynamic. You should never have been asked to carry your mother emotionally.

Of course, all mothers are in a relationship with their children, and there will be a natural flow of emotional support within any healthy relationship. What I am talking about here is when the amount of emotional support required by the mother is out of balance and unhealthy for the child. In a healthy parent-child dynamic, the parent is the adult, and it is the adult’s role to care for the child emotionally; it is NOT the child’s job to emotionally care for the parent.⁣⁣

These are heavy burdens for children to carry, and, typically, these children will grow up too soon.⁣⁣

When a child does most of the emotional labour in the relationship, it can rob a child of their childhood. The child can constantly be left worrying about how their mother feels and how their behaviour, presence, or lack of presence affect their mother. They may have even felt responsible for keeping their mother alive.⁣⁣

This is a cycle that CAN be broken.

Let me know n the comments if this resonates with you.

If you see many repeating patterns in your relationships that you would like to shift, you will love my upcoming course, ‘Relationship Cycle Breakers’. Click the link to learn more about this life-changing program