Sometimes, we only find out that we should have stood our ground more firmly AFTER the fact. It isn’t until we are sat at the work lunch, with a pounding head, having to make polite conversation, that it is obvious we should have said a firm ‘no’. Even after the fact, you can save yourself. You can get a taxi home if you need to.
It is okay to revisit a decision and change your mind. With the passwords, you might go back and say, “I have had some time to think about my decision to give you my passwords, and I am not comfortable with it. I understand you feel jealous; maybe we should talk to someone and get some help with this issue?”
Sometimes it just feels easier to let the other person have their way. Maybe to keep the peace and avoid conflict, perhaps because they feel more strongly than you about the topic than you, or maybe they are implying they are ‘right’ in some way, and you are wrong.
There is give and take in all relationships, and it is normal to win some and lose some. If you are in a relationship and finding that your partner is winning all the time, there is a power imbalance that needs to be addressed.
Moving into assertiveness and knowing our boundaries is a journey. It is a vital part of everyone’s healing journey.
Take care of yourselves and each other,
Love, Jen
