When parents are INCONGRUENT, children learn:To doubt their version of reality.To not trust themselves and even things they see and hear.That people are not honest or safe.When parents are CONGRUENT, children learn:To trust themselves.To trust other people.How to own their …
Tag: psychotherapy
Boundaries & Mental Health
Let me say it again – you are not responsible for someone else’s mental health. To be clear, I am not talking about abuse. If you are verbally, physically, mentally or emotionally abusive, then you ARE responsible. If you are …
Empathetic Boundaries
I hear a lot of people in my clinic feel that they are too empathetic. They can feel the other person’s discomfort or pain and just want it to go away. This is the result of a high level of …
How to Develop Empathy
Empathy is a skill we learn in childhood. It comes from having attuned parents who meet our needs. With attuned parents, it is safe to feel what they are feeling. We learn that when we express understanding of our parent’s …
Building Empathy
Many people either feel they have too much empathy or too little. When we have ‘too much empathy’, it is usually a boundary issue, not an empathy issue. For those people who feel they lack empathy, research has shown there …
The Importance of Practicing Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand how others are feeling and show compassion towards them. It is the ability to imagine what someone else’s life is like, to stand in their shoes and feel what they feel, from their point …
Understanding Empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand how others are feeling and show compassion towards them. It is the ability to imagine what someone else’s life is like, to stand in their shoes and feel what they feel, from their point …
Aspects of Emotional Intelligence
Socrates in Plato’s Apology was credited with saying “An unexamined life is not worth living”. This is at the core of self-awareness. Self-awareness calls us to reflect on our words and actions, be curious about our triggers, and understand our …
How We Learn Empathy
If we grew up with unsafe and unattuned caregivers, it is a NORMAL adaptation to be reticent to ‘stand in someone else’s shoes’ and allow yourself to feel empathy. Imagine having a mother who is an alcoholic. Most of the …
Cultivating Emotional Intelligence
Emotional quotient (EQ) is the ability to understand and process your emotions in a positive way to release stress, empathise with others, communicate effectively and work through conflicts. People with a high EQ have a high level of self-awareness and …