Up until age two, our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In the relationship with our primary caregiver (usually the mother), we are being wired for relationship. If …
Tag: healing journey
Breaking Family Cycles
My dad was a welder. He worked until he retired at 65. He did manual labour. He worked hard. To him, being a successful adult meant working hard, being frugal and staying safe. He didn’t know anyone who had gone …
What is a Cycle Breaker?
We all have repeating patterns or ‘cycles’ in our family of origin. It might be repeating patterns of failed marriages, drug and alcohol problems, or family conflict. You become a cycle breaker when you first see the cycle and …
The Cycle Breaker’s Circle
This is the cycle we all go through on any healing journey. We need to discover where we are stuck and what we inherited from our parents and childhood. Then, we need to attend to and heal those wounded parts, …
Conflict and Connection
Conflict provides an opportunity for a deeper connection. Most of us are not taught this. We are taught that conflict is scary and to be avoided. We might have learnt from our family of origin that conflict results in physical …
Feeling The Same Pain Again
Running from the pain won’t stop the pattern from repeating itself. Your subconscious is trying desperately to heal; it presents you with situation after situation until you pause and get curious. Not in a self-punishing way but in a compassionate, …
How to Reconnect After An Argument
We all know those uncomfortable few minutes after a heated discussion. The argument's energy is hanging in the air, and you are both processing what was said. If your trauma response has been activated, you might be calming your nervous …
Healing Dissociation Part 2
Healing Dissociation Part 2 Dissociation is often a misunderstood and feared part of the system. Healing in a system with a big dissociated part means that we need to start with safety. Your life needs a foundation of current safety …
Healing Dissociation Part 1
I like to think of dissociation like a firefighter. When an internal alarm signals danger, the firefighter wakes up, puts on its firefighting gear, rushes to the rescue, and does what it knows how to do: dissociate. In therapy, we …