The four communication styles that have a negative impact on your relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Everyone will have a favoured method. Mine is defensiveness. Defensiveness is a response to criticism and tends to increase conflict because the other …
Tag: Defensiveness
![Break the Cycle of Toxic Criticism and Defensiveness](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/1-4-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
Break the Cycle of Toxic Criticism and Defensiveness
When someone comes at you with criticism, the natural response is to defend. Criticism is a form of attack, so it is natural to protect instinctively unless you know how criticism and defensiveness play out in a relationship. Those of …
![11 ways to build trust in your relationship](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/1-2-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
Ways to Build Trust in Your Relationship
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It is difficult to be truly vulnerable with someone you don’t trust. Trust isn’t built overnight; it takes time. In a relationship, many small moments added together become the building blocks of trust. …
![3 Tips for when you are feeling defensive: Ask yourself where you CAN take some responsibility in this situation? (Not doing this can result in forms of gaslighting). Is the complaint or criticism real, or am I making it personal to me? How can I hear what my partner is trying to tell me? How can I validate their experience before I try to share my own?](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/25_02_2021_3-Tips-to-Reduce-Your-Defensiveness-copy-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
3 Tips to Reduce Your Defensiveness
The four communication styles that have a negative impact on your relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Everyone will have a favoured method. Mine is defensiveness. Defensiveness is a response to criticism and tends to increase conflict because the other …
![How to Escape the Toxic Criticism and Defensiveness Cycle Criticism: “You are so lazy and disrespectful; you leave all your dirty clothes all over the place.” Antidote: “I” statements: “I feel _________ about __________. I need ___________.” “I feel upset and sad when you leave your dirty clothes on the floor. I need you to put them in the basket.” Defensiveness: “It’s just a few things at the end of the day, nothing to get so worked up about.” Antidote: Taking some responsibility, even if it is just a little. “I hear you are annoyed/sad; I can be a bit messy sometimes.” Remember: Listen, validate, accept some responsibility, what can we / I change?](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/1-4-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
How to Escape the Toxic Criticism and Defensiveness Cycle
When someone comes at you with criticism, the natural response is to defend. Criticism is a form of attack, so it is natural to protect instinctively unless you know how criticism and defensiveness play out in a relationship. Those of …
![4 Ways of Communicating that will Destroy your Relationship](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/1-3-1-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
4 Ways of Communicating That Will Destroy Your Relationship
The Gottman’s have spent 40 years studying couple and relationships. They found four communication styles predict the failure of a relationship. The Gottman’s call them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. First, to begin to work with our communication style, …