When you have an anxious adaptation in relationships, conflict signals danger to the nervous system. When this happens, your nervous system fills with energy and prepares you for fight or flight. This is super helpful if a tiger is chasing …
Tag: blame
Blaming Partner
When in conflict, if you have an anxious adaptation, it is common to get into a pattern of feeling alone and hopeless in your relationship. Rather than give up, you might find yourself becoming critical of your partner and pursuing …
Experiences of a Scapegoat
A friend of mine was labelled the scapegoat in her family. She was repeatedly told that she was too volatile and ‘crazy.’ She was a scapegoat for everything, including things that had absolutely nothing to do with her. It took …
One Essential Thing to Do to Create Emotional Safety in Your Relationship.
The Gottman’s conducted a six-year longitudinal study that predicted the likelihood of divorce from the first three minutes of a conflict. The couples who divorced tended to begin their discussion with a lot of negativity and blame. This, in and …