When you have the avoidant adaptation, you likely grew up in an environment where it was not okay to have needs or your needs were denied, so you shut them down. As an adult, you may judge yourself as weak …
Tag: avoidant attachment
The Dance of the Anxious and Avoidant in Conflict
Let me know in the comments if you have ever experienced this dynamic Love, Jen
The Dance of the Anxious and Avoidant in Conflict
This is the pursuer/withdrawer dynamic identified by Dr Sue Johnson in her brilliant book “Hold Me Tight”. It is the dance of the anxious (pursuer) and the avoidant (withdrawer). I know this dance well because it is one my husband …
Getting in Touch with Your Needs If You Are Avoidantly Attached
Have you ever marvelled at how some people seem to know exactly what they need at any given moment? Do you often feel numb and have no idea? This is one of the traits of the avoidantly attached. The avoidantly …
The Dynamic Between The Avoidant and The Securely Attached
Something I haven’t seen talked about anywhere else is the phenomenon where an avoidant will create an anxious attachment out of a normally securely attached person. Can this happen? Yes! I know because I have had this experience myself. …
Dynamics between avoidant and anxiously attached
I’ve had a lot of requests for more details about the avoidant/anxious dynamic. I hope this gives a bit more insight. If you think of every adult as having a child-like part and an adult-like part, certain combinations are …
Supporting an Avoidanlty Attached Partner
Avoidantly attached people often have a well-developed ‘inner adult’. They are stable, secure and seem to have it all worked out. This can be very attractive for people who have a well developed ‘inner child’. They feel safe with this …
Tips for Avoidant Attachment Style
The avoidant attachment style grows in children due to a caregiver (often the mother) who is emotionally unavailable and non-attuned to the child’s needs. Over time they suppress their natural desire to be comforted even when they are ill. These …
Foundation for Avoidant Attachment
Attachment behaviours are the response of children to their primary caregiver (often the mother). With the amount of rapid brain growth occurring throughout childhood, the brain is literally being wired for relationships. With the avoidant attachment style, the mother is …
Identifying Your Attachment Style
Up until the age of two, our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In the relationship with our primary caregiver (usually the mother), we are being wired for …