Much of the literature in mental health and psychology has focused on the mother and the mother’s attachment. But what about our fathers? As children, we need a healthy father figure. It doesn’t have to be a biological father, it …
Tag: attachment theory
12 Signs You Have A Mother Wound
Many of us spend years in confusion, anger and grief about the mother relationship, trying to make sense of what happened. The relationship with the mother, who is usually the primary caretaker, is the first imprint we receive about …
I Can’t Change My Attachment Style, Can I?
Up until the age of two, our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In the relationship with our primary caregiver (usually the mother), we are being wired for …
Is Your Attachment Style Affecting Your Relationships?
Your attachment style influences all of your intimate relationships. Knowing if you are secure or insecure in your attachment can help you to understand some of your behaviour when you are in relationships. Know that your attachment style CAN be …
Dating Boundaries
Dating boundaries are important because they reflect the kinds of boundaries we have in other parts of our lives. If our boundaries are non-existent in the beginning, it can be challenging to re-instate them later on. Dating boundaries can be …
What are Core Childhood Needs?
When core needs go unmet, unhealthy coping mechanisms result. This is natural, because a child needs to keep themselves safe and over time, learns how to get their needs met, however they can. For many people, having needs at all …
Identifying Your Needs If You Are Avoidantly Attached
Have you ever marvelled at how some people seem to know exactly what they need in any given moment? Do you often feel numb and have no idea? This is one of the traits of the avoidantly attached. The avoidantly …
What does it feel like to be the secure home base for my clients?
“For me there is a sense of strong love flowing towards the person in pain. In my head and my whole being I am ALLOWING. I am not saying, it is enough now, or this needs to stop, or you …
The Dance of The Avoidant and The Securely Attached
Something I haven’t seen talked about anywhere else is the phenomenon where an avoidant will create an anxious attachment out of a normally securely attached person. Can this happen? Yes! I know because I have had this experience myself. I …
The Dance of The Anxious and The Securely Attached
The honeymoon phase for the anxiously attached is wonderful, as they finally find someone to partner with. Deep down they feel that the world is not a safe place, so it is safer with someone than alone. The honeymoon phase …