A cycle breaker in a family is someone who consciously chooses to develop different ways of communicating, interacting, living and thinking to their family of origin. This can start at a very young age, knowing early that you just think differently, or are fundamentally different, to the rest of your family.
The need to belong and feel connected to other people is one of our basic human needs, so it can be distressing when you find yourself feeling different to, and not fully ‘belonging’ in, your family of origin.
For those of you raised in toxic and abusive environments, it might be a huge relief to feel innately different from the rest of your family. The problem is that there is still a feeling of not belonging and sometimes of loneliness.
This is where supporting yourself as a cycle breaker is important. Two of the most supportive things you can do for yourself are to form a relationship with a therapist you trust and find your tribe. A good therapist will be able to help you sort out what is healthy and what is unhealthy for you in your family of origin, develop different ways of communicating, and help you to establish and maintain healthy boundaries.
A great tribe will be your biggest supporters. They will probably understand what you are going through, they will have your back, and it is great if they are people you can have safe fun with.
Being a cycle breaker is not easy, but it is undoubtedly worth the effort. You are doing it for you AND for your kids. You got this!
Much love on your healing journey