A cycle breaker in a family is someone who consciously chooses to develop different ways of communicating, interacting, living, and thinking to their family of origin. This can start at a very young age, knowing early that you just think differently, or are fundamentally different, from the rest of your family.
The need to belong and feel connected to other people is one of our basic human needs. It can be distressing when you find yourself feeling different and not fully ‘belonging’ to your family of origin.
For those of you raised in toxic and abusive environments, it might be a huge relief to feel innately different from the rest of your family. The problem is that there is a feeling of not belonging and loneliness. This is where supporting yourself as a cycle breaker is essential. Two of the most supportive things you can do for yourself are:
- to form a relationship with a therapist you trust and
- find your tribe
A good therapist will help you sort out what is healthy and unhealthy for you in your family of origin, develop different ways of communicating, and establish and maintain healthy boundaries.
A great tribe will be your biggest supporters. They will probably understand what you are going through and have your back, and it is excellent if they are people you can have safe fun with.
Being a cycle breaker is not easy, but it is undoubtedly worthwhile. You are doing it for you AND your kids. You got this!
Much love Jen
