Common Mistakes when Anxiously Attached

  • 1) Mistaking intense emotional highs and lows for love, leading to confusion between dependency and true connection.

Many individuals with anxious attachment mistakenly equate the rollercoaster of intense emotional highs and lows with the depth and intensity of love, perceiving these turbulent experiences as signs of a passionate relationship. 

This confusion can lead to a blurred line between healthy emotional connection and dependency, where your emotional well-being becomes heavily reliant on your partner’s presence and approval.

  • 2) Overlooking personal boundaries to please your partner, resulting in a loss of self-identity.

You might overlook your personal boundaries in an effort to please your partner, sacrificing your own needs, preferences, and values in the process. This can lead to a profound loss of self-identity as you gradually disconnect from your true self and become increasingly defined by your relationship. 

  • 3) Ignoring red flags in relationships due to a fear of being alone.

Driven by a fear of loneliness, you may choose to ignore red flags in your relationship, such as disrespect, lack of communication, or incompatible values, rationalising or minimising these issues in the hope of preserving the partnership. 

This denial stems from the belief that any relationship, even a problematic one, is better than facing the world alone.


  • Emotional turbulence isn’t the measure of love’s depth—seek stability and genuine connection. 
  • Honor your boundaries; your self-identity is precious and deserves to shine in any relationship. 
  • Don’t let the fear of solitude blind you to red flags. True companionship amplifies your light, not dims it.