Building a Deep Connection with Your Partner

This is about knowing your partner’s world. It is difficult to really love someone that you don’t know. You might read this list and think, of course, I know these things about my partner. That is great. But know that love maps change over time. When you have been together for several years, couples can become complacent and uninterested in one another, drifting apart. Staying connected by discussing the intimate details of one another’s lives creates connection. 

It is easy to get caught up in the day-to-day routine of raising kids, doing chores, and paying bills and feel like you don’t have the time or energy to be connected to your partner’s life. This is why date nights or time to walk and talk as a couple are essential. Every relationship needs to be given time and space to breathe. When there is time to breathe together, there are no distractions, and you can speak honestly and openly about what is going on for you with no expectation that the other person will be able to fix it. 

When we make this time for one another, it is like watering a dry plant. We may not know that we are thirsty until we are watered. You might be surprised at what comes out in conversation when you go through this list above. Even the most communicative couple will learn something new.

What could you do this week to learn more about your partner’s world?

Good luck on your healing journey, Jen 

Reference: Love maps are based on Gottman research: “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” (1999),