Your boundaries are for YOU, they are not to change the other person. They are to keep you and your energy safe.
Boundaries are healthy. Without boundaries our energy gets drained, we become resentful and angry and we are susceptible to being mistreated.
Myth: Boundaries are selfish. Truth: Boundaries protect a person, everyone needs them, and in the end, everyone benefits.
I think having clear boundaries with family members and at work are the hardest boundaries to enforce. With family, because there are old, entrenched patterns that may not be healthy. With work, because there are power differentials to take into consideration.
The hardest part when maintaining a boundary with family is when there is conflict and push back. When this happens, we need to stay firm with our boundary. If it is healthy for you, it is valid.
If you get push back, you might say something like, “I have been very clear with my boundary and I feel like you are not respecting it. I’d love for us to be a family who can respect one another’s boundaries”
Try not to over explain your boundary, you are allowed to have it.
Remember, healthy boundaries in an unhealthy environment will create push back – expect it and be ready for it.
I hope you find these helpful.
Jen xx
