Wow – the power of consistency with an anxiously attached person. It is like drinking a cool glass of water on a hot day – soothing, grounding, nourishing from the inside.
The balance here is asking for the consistency that you need to feel safe without your partner feeling controlled.
There will be a natural flow of greater and lesser intimacy with any relationship, like waves gently lapping on the shore. The trick is to keep the waves moving in and out in a comfortable rhythm for BOTH people and it not to feel like a massive thunderstorm, with no water one moment and flooded the next.
The details of what that movement looks like in reality need to be gently negotiated, so the anxiously attached person can feel loved and safe, and the other person can still feel free in the relationship.
This is the dance of being in a relationship. It is a tango where you both have to find the steps that suit you and work in rhythm, so you don’t trip each other over.
Enjoy the dance! And dancing lessons when you need them (therapy).????
Big love,
Jen
