I went to see my therapist yesterday to do some work around the birth of my two children. They are now 10 and 12 years old, but I still feel a queasiness in my stomach when I think about my second birth.
That is my body telling me that something is still unprocessed there. Something is needing my attention.
As a therapist, I do somatic work with my clients and with myself. Somatic therapy is a way of clearing mental, emotional and spiritual blocks by releasing triggers that appear in the physical body. I could do this process on my own. But it wouldn’t be as effective as working through this with a therapist. There wouldn’t be anybody to hold space for me, to meet me in my trauma.
This is my pattern. I became so capable and self-sufficient at such a young age that it was difficult for me to be vulnerable, need anything, or ask for help. I was proud of not needing anyone else and proud of my independence. It protected me and made me feel safe.
But at what cost? Later it was difficult for me to be vulnerable, difficult to deeply trust that another person would be there for me in the way I needed them to be.
When I let my therapist hold space for me, to be with me in my trauma, at times when I feel profoundly alone and powerless, this is healing old wounds. This is me trusting another human to attune to me and walk with me through whatever might come up in the room.
This is the power of being with another human in our vulnerability. This is an essential part of the healing work and I am a far better therapist for my clients because of the therapy I receive.
Wherever you are, take care of one another.
Love, Jen
