We have all been there, at that moment when you are doing precisely the same thing AGAIN. You are in pattern repeat, a cycle.
For example, you are annoyed that your partner just spent a whole lot of the family money on a new toy. You express this, but they disagree, and you have a fight where you both defend your respective corners. As a result, you distance yourself, maybe to punish the other person, or maybe there was no resolution for you, so it feels unfinished, and the air is not yet clear.
Whatever the reason, here you are again, feeling unheard and distancing. AGAIN.
Then there is that moment of recognition. Yes, it’s unresolved for me, but look at my reaction. I am moving away again. This is where we become aware of the pattern.
Be curious about the pattern:
I wonder where that behaviour comes from? Did someone in my family do that to me? Did I witness it in other relationships growing up?
What do I truly want?
In this case, it might be more intimacy, love and connectedness.
Contemplate: Are my actions and behaviours moving me towards that or away from it?
If you are noticing many repeating cycles in your relationships and your life, you’ll love my course that launches tomorrow, Relationship Cycle Breaker. In it, we move through a process of discovering the cycles, healing them by addressing both your internal world and external behaviours. We work on discovering and changing your core beliefs and ‘core wound’. You discover your attachment style and different ways to create secure attachment moving forward.
