Tag: therapy

Working with Limerence Have you constructed a fantasy version of your partner that is able to meet all of your unmet childhood needs?

Working with Limerence

April 15, 2022

When we work with our inner child, we are working with our patterns around limerence. Know that you have got this! If you want to know more about Inner Child or ‘parts work’, check out the ‘Heal Your Inner Child’ …

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When we experience limerence, it can be our inner child reaching out for something they are missing, often yearning for connection, or wanting the safety of a stable family unit that they didn't get in childhood.

Limerence

April 8, 2022

When experiencing limerence, it is essential to have a regular reality check. Check-in with your inner child and see what they need from you. If you would like to learn more about your inner child, check out my course on …

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Anxiously attached people appreciate responsiveness

Anxiously Attached People Appreciate Responsiveness

March 8, 2022

Responsiveness is a subtle form of communication and is a love language.  When you respond to me reaching out for connection, the connection is validated, and I feel SAFE. It might be the smile you give me, in response to …

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5 Ways to Support Your Anxiously Attached Partner When your partner is anxiously attached, there are a few things you can do to support them. The first is being consistent. Anxiously attached people will appreciate consistency, especially fi they have grown up in an erratic environment. The second thing that is helpful is reassurance. Verbally letting them know how you feel about them and that you are committed, if you are committed to the relationship. Thirdly, take the time to express gratitude. Anxiously attached people might find it difficult to see their own beauty and worth. When you share gratitude, they often feel your love. Trying to be responsive. So replying to texts and calls as best you can. And lastly, staying close after conflict. Working out ways to stay connected during and after conflict is super helpful.

5 Ways to Support Your Anxiously Attached Partner

February 27, 2022

Learn more about attahcment styles and how they play out in relationships

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We self-abandon when we: Let go of our boundary because they don't like it. Concede in an argument because we feel them pulling away. Have s-x, but our body doesn’t feel like it, to keep them with us. Don't listen to our intuition because what it tells us might leave us single. Seek validation from them, rather than giving it to ourselves. Give up interests or friendships to keep the other person happy. Criticise ourselves for feeling needy. Consistently focus on the other person’s needs above our own.

We Self-Abandon When We:

February 27, 2022

Learning to stop self-abandoning happens in the small, silent moments that often nobody else knows about. Learning to listen to ourselves differently. I have found inner child, parts and somatic work to be the most powerful to navigate this pattern …

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When we have experienced different forms of abandonment as a child, it is common to self-abandon to stay connected.

Abandonment To Self-Abandonment

February 27, 2022

We might call this people-pleasing, but for me, this is deeper. This happens in the small but powerful moments when we: Concede in an argument because we feel them pulling away. Have sex, but our body doesn’t feel like it, …

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When you have the anxious attachment adaptation, part of you is seeking someone else to regulate you. Healing comes from learning to self-regulate more effectively AND engaging in co-regulation.

Seeking Others to Regulate Us.

February 27, 2022

The opportunity here is to give the younger self the soothing she so desperately wanted and deserved.  I have been doing Inner Child and ‘parts’ work for over 17 years with myself and others and found it to be one …

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Abandonment Fear

Abandonment Fear Part 2

February 16, 2022

In this live session, I cover:⁣⁣????Exactly what abandonment fear is⁣????Where it comes from⁣????How it related to Anxious Attachment⁣????How to approach this fear in ourselves⁣????How it pushes us to attach too quickly⁣????Why we attract unavailable partners⁣????What to look for in relationships⁣????What …

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When we have experienced different forms of abandonment as a child, we might be quick to attach, even to unavailable partners.

When we Have Experienced Abandonment as a Child, We Might be Quick to Attach

February 16, 2022

I invite you to notice this desire to attach too quickly with compassion. Talk to the younger part of you who craves love, affection and attention. She is calling you through time and space to attend to her. Remember that …

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11 Ways to Support Yourself as a ‘Cycle Breaker’ Accept that you are different from your family of origin, and that’s okay Remember that you are doing the healing work for your children and their children Find a wholesome group outside of your family of origin Find supportive people, therapists, teachers, etc Educate yourself in new ways of being and communicating Develop clear boundaries with your family Don’t expect anyone else to change Develop empathy for yourself and your family Keep a journal and remind yourself to align with YOUR values Permit yourself to take a break from the family or distance if necessary Trust yourself

11 Ways to Support Yourself as a ‘Cycle Breaker’

February 10, 2022

A cycle breaker in a family consciously chooses to develop different ways of communicating, interacting, living and thinking to their family of origin. This can start at a very young age, knowing early that you just think differently, or are …

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