If you grew up with a lot of criticism around you, you likely have a loud, critical voice in your head as an adult. Usually, that critical voice is directed inward, but in intimate relations Criticism usually grows out of …
Tag: therapy
Tips to Become Less Defensive
The four communication styles that have a negative impact on your relationships according to the Gottmans: Everyone will have a favoured method. Mine is defensiveness. Defensiveness is a response to criticism and tends to increase conflict because the other person …
Attachment Styles and their Impact on Relationships
Let me know what questions you have about attachment and attachment styles. Love, Jen
Attachment Exists On A Spectrum
ttachment exists on a spectrum, with ‘secure’ in the middle. You might emerge from childhood with more anxious traits in relationships. You might enter a relationship with someone securely attached and find that you are moving on the spectrum towards …
Hot and Cold Behaviours
Hot and cold behaviours will trigger anxiety regardless of your attachment style. If one day they are sending you flowers and the next they are not responding to a text, that’s hot and cold. If one day they invite you …
9 Signs You Grew Up Chronically Lonely
Chronic loneliness is not a diagnosis. It is a term used to describe loneliness experienced over a long period. This can happen for many different reasons. It might be that you grew up as an only child with a parent …
Acting Out
Pause – When you feel yourself about to ‘act out,’ can you pause? Can you hold the tension and discomfort in your body and be curious about what is happening for you? Can you think? I am feeling so much …
How To Decrease Hyperarousal
Feeling hyperaroused can mean being overwhelmed with energy, manifesting as anxiety, panic, or the urge to flee—classic signs of your body kicking into fight or flight mode. This state makes relaxation challenging, affecting sleep and digestion. 💡 Here’s a tip …
Signs of Hyperarousal
Most of the time, our lives unfold within a safe range of arousal—a state where we can function well, regulate our emotions, feel grounded, and stay mentally present. As we encounter daily challenges, our arousal levels fluctuate, sometimes feeling like …