We all know that uncomfortable few minutes after a heated discussion. The argument’s energy is hanging in the air, and you are both processing what was said. If your trauma response has been activated, you might be calming your nervous …
Tag: psychotherapy
How to Self-Soothe
Self-soothing is one of the most important life skills we can learn. So many of us did not learn this vital skill from our parents. They were distracted, absent, or unable to soothe their child because they couldn’t soothe themselves. …
What Causes a Dysregulated Nervous System?
The role of our nervous system is to ensure we survive. If we are under attack, it prepares us to move quickly, and if we are safe, it ensures other bodily functions such as digestion continue. Our parasympathetic nervous system …
No Two children Have The Same Childhood
Is there space for them to BOTH be right? When one sibling remembers neglect, they remember the details and the house’s emotional temperature; that is their experience. That is what they remember. It is true for them.When the other sibling …
Why Co-Regulation is Important
Co-regulation is where one nervous system calms another. It happens when you have a caregiver who is attuned to you as a child. They can use their body, the tone and pitch of their voice, and their breath to anchor …
Embracing Emotion Helps Our Relationships
We are not taught how to deal with our emotions at school, so most of us are left to figure it out alone. When we get hurt, the tendency is to do one of three things: move away, move closer …
Something to AVOID the Next Time You Are in An Argument
When we build up resentments in a relationship, it is common that they will come pouring out during an argument. You start with a complaint about how they leave their clothes on the floor, they become defensive, and to prove …
One Essential Thing to Do to Create Emotional Safety in Your Relationship.
The Gottman’s conducted a six-year longitudinal study that predicted the likelihood of divorce from the first three minutes of a conflict. The couples who divorced tended to begin their discussion with a lot of negativity and blame. This, in and …
How to Speak to Someone with Anxiety
???? When faced with someone experiencing high anxiety, rather than giving advice, which can feel invalidating, a better approach is to seek to understand how it is for the person. Let them know you are with them, and they are …
The Secret to Relationship Success: A Strong Friendship
When there is a strong friendship, repairs in the relationship work better. In the Gottman’s book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” (1999), they talk about the importance of repairs. In any relationship, we have to expect to have …