Is this easy? Hell no, as Brené would say. It goes against our wiring, especially if we have a trauma history; the impulse to get away can be overpowering. The power is in the pause. When we can pause and …
Tag: healing journey
What to Avoid in an Argument
When we build up resentments in a relationship it is common that they will come pouring out in the midst of an argument. You start with a complaint about how they leave their clothes on the floor, they become defensive, …
Rituals for Building Connection
When you are an early bird in a relationship with a night owl, you potentially miss out on many opportunities for connection. You might find less time to talk, less intimacy, less touch, and at worst, you live like friends …
Growing Trust in Your Relationships
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It is difficult to be truly vulnerable with someone you don’t trust. Trust isn’t built overnight; it takes time. In a relationship, many small moments become the building blocks of trust. It might …
Turning Criticism into a Complaint
If you grew up with a lot of criticism around you, you likely have a loud, critical voice in your head as an adult. Usually, that critical voice is directed inward, but in intimate relations Criticism usually grows out of …
Tips to Become Less Defensive
The four communication styles that have a negative impact on your relationships according to the Gottmans: Everyone will have a favoured method. Mine is defensiveness. Defensiveness is a response to criticism and tends to increase conflict because the other person …
But I had a Stable Home. Why Am I Avoidant In Relationships?
You might have grown up with a roof over your head and three meals a day with your two parents. You might look back at your childhood and think, “Okay, I was alone a lot, and my family weren’t very …
Attachment Styles and their Impact on Relationships
Let me know what questions you have about attachment and attachment styles. Love, Jen
Attachment Exists On A Spectrum
ttachment exists on a spectrum, with ‘secure’ in the middle. You might emerge from childhood with more anxious traits in relationships. You might enter a relationship with someone securely attached and find that you are moving on the spectrum towards …