There are often comments which, when boiled down, ask, “Why can’t you just be more like us?” When cycle breakers emerge, the resistance is usually overt AND covert. Overt in the things said to you and covert in the things said behind your back. Both forms of resistance are exhausting for the cycle breaker. The overt form requires constant explanations; they hear you, but they disagree with you, so you get into a headlock. The covert form of resistance can be in the form of gossiping or recruiting other family members to be on their side behind your back, causing further isolation that is not helpful.
There are many subtle ways the cycle breaker is shamed in the family; I hope the list above helps you spot some of the behaviours—a big thank you to my Instagram community for adding to this list.
As a cycle breaker, the best thing you can do for yourself is get support from people outside the family. One way to do this is through my course, Relationship Cycle Breaker, where we address these issues and more. Simply click the link in my bio, ‘Relationship Cycle Breaker Course’ to find out more.
To all the cycle breakers going through this right now…I see you. You got this. healing journey
Love, Jen
