“As a therapist, I’ve noticed that people who grew up in families where no one apologized after disagreements and just let time pass often carry that experience into adulthood in unexpected ways.
When conflict is ignored instead of addressed, it leaves us feeling emotionally unsafe, even if we don’t realize it at the time.
As adults, this often shows up as a deep need to resolve everything right away. You might find yourself over-explaining, over-communicating, or feeling uneasy until you’ve talked things out completely. Even after the conversation, it can feel like things are still unsettled, no matter how much you’ve tried to fix them.
Why does this happen? It’s because unresolved conflict in childhood trains your nervous system to stay on high alert. Without healthy examples of repair or resolution, you grow up feeling like tension is a threat, and your body learns to overcompensate in adulthood by trying to control or resolve everything immediately.
This pattern doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It’s your body’s way of seeking safety. The good news is, this cycle can be unlearned. Healing starts with recognizing where these behaviors come from and gently reminding yourself that not all tension is dangerous. It’s okay to pause, breathe, and trust that resolution doesn’t have to happen all at once.
Does this resonate with you?” –
I love this post from nadia addesi – Thank you Nadia!
Love, Jen