Have you ever found yourself in a toxic triad? I know I have.
Some triangles are healthy and helpful, for example, when work colleagues struggling with a piece of work approach their boss for some help, or when two quarreling siblings go to their parent to keep the peace and prevent a fight.
This has the result of creating closeness between the person who has been brought in and the person who brought them in and more distance between the people in the primary dyad.
Take the example in the image. Dads are fighting and unable to resolve some core marital issues. Dad ‘A’ brings in their daughter to side with him. Over time their relationship becomes closer as Dad ‘A’ showers the child with gifts for siding with him. Dad ‘B’ feels isolated from the family unit and withdraws into work as an escape.
What needs to happen here is for the couple to get some help working through their issues so they are not tempted to involve the children. Problems in relationships are the norm, not the exception. Most people, at some point, need help in their primary relationship.
If this is a pattern you recognise, share in the comments
Love Jen
