How Are Cycle Breakers Shamed in Their Family?
There are often comments which, when boiled down, ask, “Why can’t you just be more like us?” When cycle breakers emerge, the resistance is…
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What Is Reparenting?
Wherever you are in your healing journey, reparenting is part of it. When we were raised by adults who didn’t know how to regulate…
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10 Signs You Have a Father Wound
Much of the mental health and psychology literature has focused on the mother and the mother’s attachment. But what about our fathers? As children,…
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12 Signs You Have a Mother Wound
Many of us spend years in confusion, anger, and grief about the mother relationship, trying to make sense of what happened. The relationship…
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Is It Possible To Change My Attachment Style?
Up until age two, our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In…
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Breaking Family Cycles
My dad was a welder. He worked until he retired at 65. He did manual labour. He worked hard. To him, being a successful…
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What is a Cycle Breaker?
We all have repeating patterns or ‘cycles’ in our family of origin. It might be repeating patterns of failed marriages, drug and alcohol problems,…
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The Cycle Breaker’s Circle
This is the cycle we all go through on any healing journey. We need to discover where we are stuck and what we inherited…
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Conflict and Connection
Conflict provides an opportunity for a deeper connection. Most of us are not taught this. We are taught that conflict is scary and to be avoided. We might have learnt from our family of origin that conflict results in physical harm or threats, door slamming, and shouting.
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Feeling The Same Pain Again
Running from the pain won’t stop the pattern from repeating itself. Your subconscious is trying desperately to heal; it presents you with situation after situation until you pause and get curious. Not in a self-punishing way but in a compassionate, curious way. Whenever the same quality of pain comes up in me, I get curious. “Ah, there it is again, that feeling of being unnoticed and unimportant.” I pause to meet that pain and connect with the origin of the pain. What unhealed wound is it seeping from?
