We are always learning each other in relationship. We learn about our partner’s history, preferences, triggers and attachment style. And, of course, we are constantly learning about ourselves. Remember that all of the attachment styles exist on a spectrum. That …
Category: Relationships
Healing Your Anxious Attachment
Dealing with the anxious/avoidant dynamic takes many couples to therapy to work on the push-and-pull dance, with one chasing and the other retreating. Both become emotionally charged, each sticking to their tendencies—intensifying emotions, questioning, and actively participating (anxious), or pulling …
5 Ways to Increase Intimacy with Your Avoidantly Attached Partner
The key with the avoidantly attached is to remember that when they pull back, they are often just as upset as you. It is their coping mechanism that pulls them into solitude to self-soothe. This is how they did it …
Understanding your Avoidantly Attached Partner
This is something I have learned from the inside, having been in a relationship with someone avoidant for over 22 years (married for 18). Attachment and intimacy are complex. We receive many imprints about relationships from our childhood. Often, the …
How Does it Feel to Have INNER Secure Attachment?
How does it feel to have INNER secure attachment? When you have INNER secure attachment: Sounds like something we all want! But how do you cultivate INNER secure attachment? I lay out some of the ways in tomorrow’s post and …
Healing Anxious Attachment
Whenever I speak to someone who has ‘earned secure attachment’ and ask how they did it, they say, “It was a combination of things”. That was my experience, too. It wasn’t just one thing. You can’t change your attachment style …
Benefits of Being Assertive
Here’s a note about assertiveness and why it’s often the best course of action, even though it might feel scary. Assertiveness is when we have strong self-esteem and maintain healthy boundaries. Assertive communication is direct and clear and makes space …
You Don’t Need Validation
Differentiating from your family of origin is a journey. When you come from a family with strong traditions and family norms, differentiating can be difficult, and there can be strong backlash. Backlash can sound like threatening to cut you out …
Pre-Order; Heal Your Anxious Attachment
Writing this book was a birthing journey. I thought writing a book would be relatively easy. I love research. I love healing, and I love the subject matter. But writing it was a labour of love. There were hours and …