It is common for anxiously attached people to judge themselves for their insecurity. Having grown up with a mother (or primary caregiver) who was not consistently available and attuned to their needs, these children learnt that they were not important, …
Category: Healing
Disorganised Attachment
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver (often the mother). They seem disoriented and confused. This is likely the result of erratic …
How to Get to Self-Love
I remember when I first heard about the concept of self-love. It was totally foreign. What did it mean to love yourself? I had only ever been taught that it was good to love others, to be kind to others. …
Avoidant Attachment
Attachment behaviours are the response of children to their primary caregiver (often the mother). With the amount of rapid brain growth occurring throughout childhood, the brain is literally being wired for relationships. With the avoidant attachment style, the mother is …
Ambivalent (Anxious) Attachment
All attachment styles are the child’s response to the mother’s behaviour (or primary caregiver). The child’s brain is being wired in specific directions regarding intimate relationships, based on the primary relationship; with the mother. There can be a few reasons …
Why Therapists Go To Therapy
I went to see my therapist yesterday to do some work around the birth of my two children. They are now 10 and 12 years old, but I still feel a queasiness in my stomach when I think about my …
Expectations
It is easy to forget that we are human when we have so many criteria to meet and areas in life to excel. When we are supposed to be in a job that we love, in a wonderful relationship, at …
Secure Attachment
When a child is securely attached, the child’s emotions are accurately reflected and validated by the primary caregiver (usually the mother). The mother is loving, supportive, attentive, understanding and able to help regulate the child’s emotions and help the world …
What is your Attachment Style?
Up until the age of two, our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In the relationship with our primary caregiver (usually the mother), we are being wired for …
Why Attachment Matters
IS THIS THE REASON YOU STRUGGLE IN YOUR INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS? As children, we are like sponges. Our brain grows to 80% of its adult size by the time we are two! At times the neurons are growing at a rate …