We need connection. There is no more potent time in our lives that we need connection than in our childhood. We need connection as children to survive. Without connection, we die. It is that simple. To stay connected as children, we might develop all kinds of adaptations. We might act out, people-please, learn to abandon ourselves, become ‘clingy’, or learn to shrink ourselves. There are so many valid adaptations. As we grow up, we often outgrow these adaptations, and they start to cause us problems. We need to unlearn these things as adults to break the patterns of unfulfilling relationships. Unlearning takes time because learning these things took time. Give yourself the love, patience, and self-compassion required to do the work.